Story time…
I checked out The Grey King in second grade for an independent reading assignment. The year was 1989. I didn't know it was the 4th book in a fantasy series. I didn't even know what fantasy was, really.
I liked that it was set in Wales because that sounded exotic to me at the time. (My Anglophilia goes WAY BACK, y'all. And yes, I have been told that Anglophilia supposedly refers only to England, and Wales is not part of England, but there isn’t a word for love of the UK more generally, so I’m perfectly comfortable with my mis-usage in this case.)
What led me to choose that book in particular when my classmates had chosen small picture books is still fresh in my mind. I remember picking it because it was big and didn't have any pictures and looked very "grown up" and impressive. I liked the reaction it got from the adults around me and my classmates. These reactions ranged from incredulity to open criticism, but the important thing is that no one actively tried to stop me from making the attempt. I may have been gently discouraged by the librarian out of concern, but she was at least willing to let me try on my own terms. I was academically ambitious back then, and I’ve always relished subverting people’s expectations of me.
I remember finding the book confusing because it was well above my reading level. Despite being able to pronounce all of the words and understanding the meaning of almost all of them individually, I understood very little of what the heck was going on. I hadn’t yet developed the level of reading comprehensions that would allow me to remember what was going on in the story from one reading session to the next and connect these bits into a cohesive narrative. I also had a hard time keeping the characters straight in my mind, but I was still able to enjoy the descriptions of the setting.
I still have vivid mental images from reading that book. There are dozens, perhaps hundreds, of books I've read in the 30 years since that I have absolutely no memory of reading, but because this book challenged me so much and made my brain work hard at understanding the story, I still remember how I imagined Wales then.
Perhaps most importantly, I remember regretting my choice. The book was so baffling and required so much sustained effort. Most of the other kids in my class had flown through four or five picture books in the time it took me to read The Grey King. But even when I was hopelessly confused about what was happening, I was determined to finish reading it even if I wasn't going to understand the climax. And I did finish. I remember having to turn the book in at the drop and then get it back off the shelf the next day once or twice. I didn’t know you could renew a book, then, and I probably wouldn’t have wanted to approach the desk and speak with the librarian face-to-face anyway. Turning it in, waiting, and then borrowing it again seemed easier.
I don’t have many memories from second grade. I’m not a person who has a good memory, generally. I feel like a lot of people who had bad childhoods intentionally develop that talent of forgetting (and, perhaps related, also develop an early love of escaping into fiction). But one of my very clear memories from that time was the teacher going around the room during independent reading time and having each child read out loud to her one-on-one as a test of reading fluency. I was tucked away behind a bookshelf with The Grey King, and she came and sat on the floor next to me. I remember being very anxious about my turn coming up as she worked her way around the room. I might have even been hiding intentionally, but I don’t recall. I was one of the last ones to be tested, though.
We hadn’t done much reading aloud in class up to that point. Mostly, the teacher read to us. And while I knew that I could read the words silently, I hadn’t practiced reading aloud so I was unsure of my ability. And, of course, I still have a great deal of performance anxiety to this day, so this form of testing was particularly challenging and uncomfortable for me.
I don’t remember if my teacher said anything to this effect but I recall there being a general air of expecting me to fail. This could have been purely internalized, but that’s how I remember it. As I read, I was very worried about getting tripped up, but it didn’t actually go too badly. I think I may have skipped a couple of words trying to prove I could read quickly, and pronounced something incorrectly that I knew how to pronounce but simply flubbed due to nerves. I did not understand any of what I read, but I did think it sounded good with inflection like an adult might have used. I expected her to make me read for longer, but after just a few paragraphs, she cut me off. I guess she seemed impressed, or at least not concerned that I was having trouble reading and comprehending. My classmates that I’d overheard doing their testing were still working through how to sound out long words, so I assume she thought that’s where her teaching skills were most needed. In any case, she largely left me alone during independent reading time for the remainder of the year, and I either learned to tune out the skepticism and judgement of adults as it related to my choice of reading material, or I had done enough to prove myself that they stopped making comments about it.
As much as I had regretted taking on such a challenging read at the time, I was glad that I got myself into that mess afterward because my reading comprehension level took a huge leap. Picking up a book that was “too hard” and “above my capabilities” was the key to expanding those capabilities. I became more capable through the act of challenging my limits.
In the succeeding years, my reading comprehension gave me an edge over my peers, an edge I like to think I still carry with me today.
About The Grey King:
The Grey King is the fourth book in the critically acclaimed five-book fantasy series The Dark is Rising Sequence from Susan Cooper, published between 1965 and 1977. The Grey King won the Newbury Medal in 1975. Scholastic suggest this book is for 6th to 8th graders at a DRA Level 60 or Guided Reading level X.
P.S.
In communicating with artist Gene Ambaum to secure permission to repost his comic, he told me, “For me that book was Alexander’s The Black Cauldron.” referring to The Black Cauldron from The Chronicles of Prydain series by Lloyd Alenxander.
What was “that book” for you?