My Top 10 Books of 2023

I plowed my way through 75 books in 2023. The thought of drafting a comprehensive roundup of all of those titles like I’d done in past years felt overwhelming, so I thought a good alternative would be to decide on a top 10 list.

I chose my top 5 fiction books, and top 5 non-fiction books. They are presented in no particular order in terms of ranking.


Non-fiction

  • To Dye For: How Toxic Fashion Is Making Us Sick and How We Can Fight Back by Alden Wicker

  • Uncanny Valley: A Memoir by Anna Wiener

  • Robert E. Lee and Me: A Southerner's Reckoning with the Myth of the Lost Cause by Ty Seidule

  • The Feather Thief: Beauty, Obsession, and the Natural History Heist of the Century by Kirk Wallace Johnson

  • Zeitoun by Dave Eggers


To Dye For: How Toxic Fashion Is Making Us Sick and How We Can Fight Back by Alden Wicker

I’ve had a decades-long interest in historical fashion and textiles, so I occasionally like to get really deep in the weeds with texts on fibers. When an acquaintance I’m in a sewing group with recommended To Dye For to me, I instantly put it at the top of my TBR. It broke my brain in the best way. It’s a must-read, really. I’ve been recommending it to people like crazy, particularly all of my fellow fibromyalgia sufferers with multiple chemical sensitivities. Only truly top tier non-fiction leaves a lasting impact on my daily habits, and this one did. I have fully stopped buying synthetic fabrics for my son to wear after reading this and am feeling quite smug about my dedication to this specific brand of organic cotton dresses. This was very well organized nonfiction that presented cutting edge research and included the voices of many industry experts who you aren’t likely to have heard from anywhere else. The way the case study of the Alaska Airlines flight crews experience with their new uniforms bookends the chapters in this makes it a really satisfying read even when there are still so many open questions the science has yet to provide answers to.

Uncanny Valley: A Memoir by Anna Wiener

I picked up Uncanny Valley as research for a new fiction project I’m working on. I was expecting it to be a bit of a chore I had to get through, but I ended up enjoying it far more than I thought I would. I’ve been finding a lot of schadenfreude in the recent spate of documentaries about things like the founding of Über, the downfall of WeWork, the Fyre Festival, etc, and this tale of a young woman being an early hire at GitHub (which I’m familiar with due to my husband’s contributions to open-source code repositories) was such an intriguing window into a world that feels simultaneously far removed from my life and yet all-too-familiar. I liked the way the light, tongue-in-cheek tone ground up against the serious topics like sexism that Weiner engages with, and I especially connected with the treatment of the setting as its own character. This one is full of witty observations and fully relatable scenarios. The way that Weiner chose not to pin down the corporate entities that populate the story by naming them lent a universality to her ultimately very personal tale.

Robert E. Lee and Me: A Southerner's Reckoning with the Myth of the Lost Cause by Ty Seidule

I had some great conversations about this book with my friend who is a professor in the Humanities. It was an interesting perspective that I appreciated more and more the further I got into the text. I learned a lot about both US military history and the politics of the contemporary US military that I hadn’t been aware of previously. I’d never had much insight into how and why things like ships and military bases were named, and this book had so much to say about how mediocre Confederate service members were so honored while many other deserving historical figures have been neglected. This book does not pull any punches when addressing the universal truths it lays bare, and the personal stories the author relates from his own life are no less unflinching.

The Feather Thief: Beauty, Obsession, and the Natural History Heist of the Century by Kirk Wallace Johnson

This is the “true crime” book we deserve! It’s got all the elements of a blockbuster true crime podcast without the glorification of murderers and re-victimization of families that make that genre so unpalatable to me. It’s got money, an obsessive subculture, shady backroom deals, a heist, a young classical musician who breaks bad, a globe-spanning manhunt… it is wild and riveting! And I want more!

Zeitoun by Dave Eggers

This book made me furious in the best way. I picked it up expecting a first-hand account of the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and got that and so, so much more. I’d never made the connection before between the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and the ways in which we instituted martial law in Gulf states after Katrina. I knew there had been multiple breakdowns and failures, but this book took on the difficult task of drawing connections between the complicated societal and historical contexts and what actually happened on the ground to one family in the days before, during, and immediately after the disaster. The things that happened were appalling and should be so much more well known. This book makes you feel the very personal heartbreak and trauma of the Zeitoun family as if it were your own. I don’t think I can adequately praise how well it’s reported and how delicately it is structured to carry the reader through heavy topics with a light touch. I don’t care how much time and effort went into the creation of this book. Whatever the cost, it was worth it. We need to do whatever we can to make sure there will be dozens more just like it. Stick David Eggers into a cloning machine right now. I will take 20 more books like Zeitoun and 20 less profiles on Elon Musk, please.


fiction

  • Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

  • Yellowface by R.F. Kuang

  • The Flatshare by Beth O’Leary

  • Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan

  • Nothing Sung and Nothing Spoken by Nita Tyndall


Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

Project Hail Mary had been on my TBR since it released. I had enjoyed The Martian by the same author, despite not preferring first person point of view, so I thought I’d give this newer title of his a chance as well. I’m glad I did. It was inventive hard science fiction with a similar tone and structure as Weir’s previous work without feeling like there were any regurgitated themes. It takes similar themes and finds something fresh to explore in them. I felt like what The Martian did for biology, Project Hail Mary did for materials science. And Weir’s habit of limiting the cast of characters allows him to do so much exploration of the rich interior life of the narrator which I enjoy. I think I can confidently say now that Weird is one of those authors I will instantly buy when I see they have a new title out.

Yellowface by R.F. Kuang

Yellowface. Where do I even start to unpack the complicated feelings I had on this one? When an acquaintance asked my opinion on it recently, I simply said, “It’s a lot.”

I work in a publishing-adjacent space and found myself nodding along at a lot of the criticisms, but some of the more pointed criticisms felt so overwhelming that I had to take a break from the book midway through. It was challenging in ways I both expected given the thematic elements and in ways that totally blindsided me.

I went into this one with no expectations. I’d just heard there was a lot of buzz and some people whose opinions I really respect and trust were holding it up in stunned silence which got me curious. And of course the story took several turns I was not prepared for, but that’s not what I liked best about it. It rides the line of being unreadable with unlikeable protagonists and exploration of problematic themes, but the prose is so beautiful that it kept me turning the pages. I did have to dust off my Triple Constrain Rule for Books, though, because this book had two of the three criteria checked, and it was a tough read!

The Flatshare by Beth O’Leary

This was the February ‘23 read for Fat Girls in Fiction Book Club discussion group, and it kept my mind churning on all the layers for weeks. I wrote two full pages of notes to take to the club meeting and I think we talked for something like 4 hours that night about the book!

I remember when I read the back cover copy thinking that the concept of two people hot-bunking in a flat in London sounded cheesy and that it could either be terribly contrived and not really work… OR it was going to be brilliant because it would have to be in order to pull off that concept.

It was brilliant. There were several individual lines that I bookmarked because of the gorgeous language and insight into the human condition. Like this one:

There are a few people out here. Mainly smokers. They have that hunched look that smokers get, like the world is against them.” –Beth O’Leary in The Flatshare

It felt like a really solid story both structurally, and in terms of the concept being something I’ve never seen done before. Everything clicks together so nicely, the pacing and character arcs were brilliantly handled. And the writing style felt fresh. There are two POV characters, and each voice is very distinct. The way that the male main character uses unconventional sentence structure in his internal dialog makes it really apparent whose POV you’re reading.

This is definitely not one of those contemporary novels where the entire conflict could have been resolved if the main characters had had a simple conversation, and the queer subplot is a rare one that actually cannot be removed and have the story still work in any way, which is refreshing. So often with subplots added in as a diversity checkbox, if you take them away, nothing in the story actually changes. This subplot doesn’t need to justify its existence in the book, and I really liked that.

I liked how Tiffy discovered a lot about herself and her past relationships over the course of the book. We weren’t introduced to her as “damaged and traumatized from being emotionally abused”. She’s just someone who had gone through a breakup and slowly discovers how toxic and damaging that relationship was, and I’ve both seen friends come to that slow realization and come upon that slow realization myself.

On first reading, I thought the part where Leo climbed the balcony was abrupt, seemed out-of-character, was maybe just another way to emphasize his physicality, and felt a bit melodramatic, but I the more I thought about it, I eventually how symbolic the scene was. Putting himself at physical risk was a concrete way of showing his growth as a character, becoming willing to risk himself emotionally by opening tup to Tiffy. Looking at it from a symbolic perspective made a lot more sense than just viewing the scene literally. It’s actually a brilliant piece of writing to allow the reader to infer all of that internal growth through external action. 

Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan

I’m often a movie-before-book person (gasp!) so I knew I would eventually get around to reading Crazy Rich Asians before the China Rich Girlfriend movie comes out. I also knew I would love it. And I did. Having re-watched the movie at least half a dozen times already, there weren’t any huge surprises, and I don’t want to spend too much time doing a book-vs-movie comparison as there were things I liked about each storytelling approach.

But learning that there are chapters in the book that developed from a poem inspired by the author’s fathers’ deathbed reminiscences that was then adapted into a short story years later for a creative writing class which was ultimately included as a chapter in the novel, I will say you can feel all of it on the page - all of the development, and craft, and the literal years of work, and generations of experience that went into the story. It’s a story with depth that doesn’t feel like it drowns you in too much detail. You get just enough to deepen your appreciate of a scene and you get it at just the right moment. You’re not bogged down in backstory, but it’s all there. I will definitely be reading the rest of the trilogy

Nothing Sung and Nothing Spoken by Nita Tyndall

Whenever I can, I try to read books written by the clients of the agency I do contract work for. This one happened to be on my library’s streaming service, happened to be set in Berlin, and I happened to be traveling to Berlin last spring, so of course I had to grab it! A quick read of the back cover copy made me anxious that this story might fall into that WWII narrative tradition of “Nazi apologists” tales, but I know and trust the agent who represents this author enough to know he wouldn’t have anything to do with a story that didn’t deal with history in a balanced and factual way, so I went ahead and jumped into it. It was fascinating to be able to be rooted in the locations while reading, and I felt like it treated what could be some tricky historical topics delicately while keeping the very personal story of the characters moving forward. The sapphic subplot and ongoing concerns about the political climate the characters were growing up in were central to the story without overwhelming it, and the ending was so unsatisfying, but in the best way.

I really wish I had posted my thoughts on this as I was reading because I can’t remember now all the nuances I enjoyed about this book, but I don’t post public reviews much anymore and I only take notes on what I’m reading for book club picks.

Perhaps for next years’ top 10 list, I’ll keep better notes throughout the year so I can do a better job at my year-end roundup post!

Books I Read in 2023

2023

Listed chronologically by first to last read in the calendar year.

  1. Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

  2. Wicked and the Wallflower (The Bareknuckle Bastards #1) by Sarah MacLean

  3. Fossil Men: The Quest for the Oldest Skeleton and the Origins of Humankind by Kermit Pattison

  4. Brazen and the Beast (The Bareknuckle Bastards #2) by Sarah MacLean

  5. Some Assembly Required: Decoding Four Billion Years of Life, from Ancient Fossils to DNA by Neil Shubin

  6. What If? 2: Additional Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions by Randall Munroe

  7. What Einstein Told His Cook: Kitchen Science Explained by Robert L. Wolke

  8. The Code Breaker: Jennifer Doudna, Gene Editing, and the Future of the Human Race by Walter Isaacson

  9. The Flatshare by Beth O’Leary

  10. The Dutch House by Ann Patchett

  11. Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

  12. The Lady’s Guide to Death and Deception by Katherine Cowley

  13. The Bodyguard by Katherine Center

  14. The Bald Eagle: The Improbable Journey of America's Bird by Jack Emerson Davis

  15. The Violinist's Thumb: And Other Lost Tales of Love, War, and Genius, as Written by Our Genetic Code by Sam Kean

  16. Banana: The Fate of the Fruit That Changed the World by Dan Koeppel

  17. The Time Traveler's Guide to Regency Britain: A Handbook for Visitors to 1789–1830 by Ian Mortimer

  18. I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by 백세희 (Baek Se-hee)

  19. Beyond the Bright Lights* by Settle Myer

  20. The Fabric of Civilization: How Textiles Made the World by Virginia Postrel 

  21. Nothing Sung and Nothing Spoken by Nita Tyndall

  22. Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach

  23. I Like You Like That by Kayla Grosse

  24. Remnants of Ancient Life: The New Science of Old Fossils by Dale Greenwalt

  25. A Natural History of Wine by Rob DeSalle and Ian Tattersall 

  26. If Nietzsche Were a Narwhal: What Animal Intelligence Reveals about Human Stupidity by Justin Gregg

  27. The Last Days of the Dinosaurs: An Asteroid, Extinction, and the Beginning of Our World by Riley Black

  28. How to Speak Whale: A Voyage Into the Future of Animal Communication by Tom Mustill

  29. I Contain Multitudes: The Microbes Within Us and a Grander View of Life by Ed Yong

  30. Beneath the Citadel by Destiny Soria

  31. River of the Gods: Genius, Courage and Betrayal in the Search for the Source of the Nile by Candice Millard

  32. Killers of the Flower Moon by David Grann

  33. Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal by Mary Roach

  34. The Lost City of the Monkey God: A True Story by Douglas Preston

  35. The Things We Make: The Unknown History of Invention from Cathedrals to Soda Cans by Bill Hammack

  36. Hey, Hun: Sales, Sisterhood, Supremacy, and the Other Lies Behind Multilevel Marketing by Emily Lynn Paulson

  37. Zeitoun by Dave Eggers

  38. An Immense World: How Animal Senses Reveal the Hidden Realms Around Us by Ed Yong

  39. The Great Influenza: The Story of the Deadliest Pandemic in History by John M. Barry

  40. For Her Consideration by Amy Spalding

  41. The Lost City of Z: A Tale of Deadly Obsession in the Amazon by David Grann

  42. Midnight in Chernobyl: The Untold Story of the World's Greatest Nuclear Disaster by Adam Higginbotham

  43. Caveat Emptor: The Secret Life of an American Art Forger by Ken Perenyi

  44. Yellowface by R.F. Kuang

  45. To Explain the World: The Discovery of Modern Science by Steven Weinberg

  46. How Far the Light Reaches: A Life in Ten Sea Creatures by Sabrina Imbler

  47. The Smallest Man by Frances Quinn

  48. The Wager: A Tale of Shipwreck, Mutiny and Murder by David Grann

  49. Death in Yellowstone: Accidents and Foolhardiness in the First National Park by Lee H. Whittlesey

  50. The Feather Thief: Beauty, Obsession, and the Natural History Heist of the Century by Kirk Wallace Johnson

  51. Gory Details: Adventures from the Dark Side of Science by Erika Engelhaupt

  52. Wild Scottish Knight by Tricia O'Malley

  53. Robert E. Lee and Me: A Southerner's Reckoning with the Myth of the Lost Cause by Ty Seidule

  54. The Art Thief: A True Story of Love, Crime, and a Dangerous Obsession by Michael Finkel

  55. Flawless: Inside the Largest Diamond Heist in History by Scott Andrew Selby and Greg Campbell

  56. The Mystery of Charles Dickens by A.N. Wilson

  57. American Sirens: The Incredible Story of the Black Men Who Became America's First Paramedics by Kevin Hazzard

  58. The Soul of an Octopus by Sy Montgomery

  59. The Invention of Nature: Alexander Von Humboldt's New World by Andrea Wulf

  60. Crazy Rich Asians (Crazy Rich Asians #1) by Kevin Kwan

  61. To Dye For: How Toxic Fashion Is Making Us Sick and How We Can Fight Back by Alden Wicker

  62. Deliberate Cruelty: Truman Capote, the Millionaire's Wife, and the Murder of the Century by Roseanne Montillo

  63. Entangled Life: How Fungi Make Our Worlds, Change Our Minds & Shape Our Futures by Merlin Sheldrake

  64. Blood Diamonds: Tracing the Deadly Path of the World's Most Precious Stones by Greg Campbell

  65. Fabric: The Hidden History of the Material World by Victoria Finlay

  66. Love in the Time of Serial Killers by Alicia Thompson

  67. Valley of the Gods: A Silicon Valley Story by Alexandra Wolfe

  68. Genius Makers: The Mavericks Who Brought A.I. to Google, Facebook, and the World by Cade Metz

  69. What an Owl Knows: The New Science of the World's Most Enigmatic Birds by Jennifer Ackerman

  70. Not the Witch You Wed by April Asher

  71. Uncanny Valley: A Memoir by Anna Wiener

  72. Troublemakers: Silicon Valley's Coming of Age by Leslie Berlin

  73. Random Acts of Medicine: The Hidden Forces That Sway Doctors, Impact Patients, and Shape Our Health by Anupam B. Jena and Christopher Worsham

  74. The Women of NOW: How Feminists Built an Organization That Transformed America* by Katherine Turk

  75. Losing Our Religion: An Altar Call for Evangelical America by Russell D. Moore

  76. Scary Smart: The Future of Artificial Intelligence and How You Can Save Our World by Mo Gawdat

  77. The Coming Wave: Technology, Power, and the Twenty-first Century's Greatest Dilemma* by Mustafa Suleyman and Michael Bhaskar

  78. Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro

    * indicates DNF (mostly due to running out of time on my loan, if it was a DNF due to disliking the content of the book, I didn’t record it on this list at all)

I Love You, Bitch

I couldn't resist the urge to snap a photo of me in the same frame as Lizzo at her concert in Indy last night! I have many thoughts about this concert and inadvertently wrote out an entire essay while gathering them together, so I’m posting them here since I keep telling myself I should update my blog more often.

First of all, the crowd was amazing! Everyone was so enthusiastic and loud. Evidently, it was a sold out show. There were three folks around me who had come solo, so I didn't feel like a total loser being on my own. My pink dress (a fashion risk I wouldn’t have felt comfortable wearing anywhere but a Lizzo concert due to the lack of skirt length and how tight it was on my large belly) basically glowed when the lights hit it, so in photos I saw from the other side of the arena, I can see myself clearly! There were quite a few people in bright outfits and fat women in crop tops or tight-fitting things, which made me happy to see. It truly felt like a place where you could wear whatever the fuck you wanted and there would be zero judgements. That’s rare in the world, and I deeply appreciated it.

A good angle.

And a bad angle. You’re privileged to what I’d normally keep private in my Girlfriend Groupchat because I’m feeling charitably inclined.

Lizzo's live vocals are NO JOKE. She hit zero sour notes and didn't use a backing track. Instead, her DJ takes on the duties of the sound booth and instead of being at the back of the arena to balance the mix live, she's ON STAGE and sings live to what I would consider the guide track at any other show. I don't think I've ever seen done before.

There was a cool projection mapping thing where images were projected onto a costume and then her body in a nude bodysuit with commentary about anti-choice legislation, beauty standards, and body shaming. So impactful!

The pre-recorded segments that played on the screens was all really well incorporated and didn't feel cringey like they sometimes can at other live shows I’ve seen. They also didn’t seem to bring down the mood (unless that was the aim) or make the show drag, which is a testament to them not being overused and being well produced. They came on to allow time for costume changes and to enhance the performance. One was an overlay of trolling comments (carefully curated to not be too triggering) while Lizzo sang Rumors, and then there was a video of Cardi B doing her rap part in that song that was filmed to look like a Facetime call that played on the screens. I thought that was a really innovative way to incorporate a pre-recorded segment and added to the intimate feel of the show. There were a few montages of the Big Grrrls, Lizzo’s backup dancers, in bodysuits that were filmed so artfully, I teared up. They were a frank celebration of large bodies. I couldn't take my eyes away!

The Big Grrrls just looked so full of joy the entire show, like they were just a bunch of friends hanging out having a great time out at the club. The touring band is all black and all female, including a 19-yr-old lead guitarist who just SHREDS. They were top quality. At some points there were three backup singers as well, though they weren’t always on the stage with the band. The band and singers all had these amazing holographic green outfits, each styled differently to suit the taste of the individual woman, and they caught the stage lights beautifully.

The crowd was so into it, she barely even picked up the mic (or her jaw off the floor) during "Truth Hurts" because the entire crowd was just screaming the lyrics when she held out the mic. Truly, the whole place was going nuts!

And her fucking flute appeared out of the floor on a rhinestone-encrusted plinth! I’m still not over how epic that moment was!


And if you've made it this far in a long post, you get the real shit. Congrats?

Because my thyroid was all messed up, I have been having a lot of issues with my health in recent years, you're probably aware. But while the external changes are easy to pick up on, what's been harder to quantify are the insidious ways in which Hashimoto's has affected me cognitively and mentally. I had to leave the workforce for a time because my focus and memory were so severely impacted that I couldn't be effective in my role any longer, and was even having a hard time carrying on conversations or participating in activities I had previously enjoyed.

I didn't talk much about all of that at the time because the world was on fire and my problems didn't seem to matter in the grand scheme, but also I was ashamed. It was too easy to blame laziness or a lack of motivation for my failures and inability to work and enjoy life. Even after fighting so hard to pinpoint medical causes for the debilitating fatigue, emotional dysregulation, and cognitive decline (a doctor described it to me as "reversible dementia" so it would be hard to overstate just how severe it had gotten, if you'd tried having a conversation with me and I forgot what I was trying to say midway through a sentence and could not for the life of me get back on track, then you know.) it was still difficult to forgive myself and get past the guilt and blame to a place of acceptance so I could move on with finding alternative ways to cope with the new realities my body was forcing me into. And all of that took some time. It wasn't a "magic pill" type of situation where I got on meds and that flipped a switch. I had to unlearn some things.

In particular, my social anxiety had gotten to the point where I wasn't even trying to do anything outside of the house anymore. I've always had disordered anxiety and CPTSD from growing up in a hoarding household, but the pandemic and emotional regulation issues that come with Hashimoto's disease really did a number on me. I wanted to do things like join a church choir, but I just wasn't able to do it. I was too afraid even though there was nothing at all to be afraid of.

So... all this to say that buying tickets for a concert to attend solo in a city I don't often visit that requires a two hour drive to get to (which gives plenty of time to second guess and fret over doing something outside of my comfort zone) was a big deal. The fact that it was LIZZO made it easier because I know that she create space for people who exist in bodies like mine to feel free to enjoy the experience without judgement.

I WAS nervous while driving, parking, and going into the venue. But I didn't let the nerves keep me from enjoying myself, which is a benefit of finally being on the right combination of medications and having undergone therapy to learn how to cope with my shit.

In the end, it was joyful, and warm, and everything I'd hoped it would be, and none of the things I'd feared. And I'm proud of myself for doing it.

When I screamed out the lyrics of "I Love You, Bitch" I was talking to myself just as much as Lizzo.