Re-Writes & Deep Breaths

One thing that I haven’t done here on this blog as yet is write about my writing. I do keep notes for myself on what’s happening in the plotting process and how I’m feeling about the way my projects are shaping up, but I don’t share these publicly as they’re mostly self-indulgent, and they would also be major spoilers in the event that my novels are published for public consumption.

In recent years, I have been trying to do less of this type of journaling for a number of reasons. For one thing, having journaled/blogged for decades, this is the easiest type of writing for me to do. It helps my very poor memory to record my thoughts in this way, but it doesn’t do anything to challenge me as a writer anymore. Another reason is that the more time I spend “writing about writing”, the less time I’m actually working in my novel, which is where I need to keep my focus.

But I’m going to break from tradition briefly for this post because there’s something that hasn’t been working in my manuscript in terms of the overall thrust of the story…and I think I have it figured out now.

But…fixing it is going to mean making some fundamental changes to the storytelling approach I’ve taken. And it’s frankly terrifying.

When you think you have your manuscript figured out but there is a miss somewhere in the engine of the thing that's keeping it from firing on all cylinders...
And then a sudden inspiration...
That explosive key ingredient that will make it sing reveals itself...

I thought I knew what to expect from this story, but that was a naive perspective.

It's a scary position to find myself in...one that vaporizes any confidence I had in what I've produced already and is asking me to dig deep.

I'm staring down the barrel of a huge re-write that will probably require more skill than I possess to execute.

It's a project I really believe in, and it deserves everything I have to give it.

It's already good. But can it be great?

Am I good enough to make it great?

[from a discussion with a writer’s group I participate in]

The big revelation that I was hinting at in this discussion is that the story isn’t going to work if I rely solely on the very close third person point of view of Lena. It might have worked as I’d originally plotted it, if I’d have been satisfied with leaving the main antagonist as simply a Central Casting “billionaire playboy” one-dimensional brooding piece of shit.

But the thing that always happens did indeed, eventually, happen. I got to know my character. He just doesn’t show up on Page 50 and say the things I need him to say to give Lena the motivation to tick off set pieces in my outlined scenes. To write him, I had to find his voice. And to find his voice, I did the same thing I do with all of my characters - I asked myself where he’d come from and where he was going.

And a story emerged that was at least as compelling as what Lena has to say for herself.

So, the big change that is coming to The Penitent Magdalene is that I will be telling a separate, interwoven story from Jake’s perspective alongside Lena’s version of events. Both will be close third and the POV shifts will occur at chapter breaks, often connected by email exchanges, which have already been written into the story.

To make room for this alternate POV, the opening chapters will be severely curtailed. There was a subplot there that was slowing down the pace and just generally being a drag to resolve that will be completely canned, and two characters are being eliminated entirely, possibly a third as well. Am I sad to see tens of thousands of words get cut? You bet your sweet bippy. But these will be major improvements.

The things I’d originally plotted for this section were unsophisticated. The story I’m telling now has matured beyond the need for love triangles, mystery discoveries, and mistaken identities. I’ve learned a lot through the act of sustained storytelling, and one of the things I’ve found is that my style of writing doesn’t need to rely on trope-y plot devices. When I was trying to stick with my original “this happens, then this happens” outline, it all read as forced and disingenuous. (Seconded by the beta readers who have read through those chapters. They have been reacting negatively to the pre-plotted material and positively to the more “organic” storytelling that grew out of my character work.)

One of the most encouraging things to me was that when I was discussing these major changes, I tweeted out that I was going to be attempting this re-write and two of the very limited number of people who have read some of the work were kind enough to reply with their encouragement. It meant the world to me that they were invested enough in the story after having read a mere 10 pages (and just the first page, in the case of the Writing All The Things Podcast) to drop a reply.

Writing a pivotal scene in the Taco Bell parking lot on the inside of an envelop that a Christmas card came in with a pen I stole from my accountant..

Writing a pivotal scene in the Taco Bell parking lot on the inside of an envelop that a Christmas card came in with a pen I stole from my accountant..

These re-writes will be happening in the month of February as I facilitate a writing workshop for some local friends who will all be working on their fiction and non-fiction writing goals alongside me. I did sit in my car and scribble by the light of a streetlamp to flesh out the critical final chapter that will tie the dual narratives together and reinforce the through-line, so that was a very positive step in the right direction for being able to finish this draft, as figuring out how to tie up the ending was becoming a huge brick wall.

I have, in the past, written some very sloppy pages from Jake’s perspective, just as an interesting thought experiment to free up places where the story seemed to bind up as I questioned his motivations. I don’t remember it being good writing, but I will have to dig those passages out of my slush document and breathe some life into them.

Now that I have a final chapter in skeleton form, a plan on how the alternate POV will provide a heartbeat to the story, and a good bit of the connective tissue already written, I just need to get the writing done to give this thing life. Easy, right?